fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Every concussion has its silver lining
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We left the knife in your bed.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize