I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize