you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we're making bets on your personal life
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
