he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We have started to decorate penises.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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