You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
3 2 1 whiskey
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
