her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
