she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize