she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
