The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
