I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
