ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
