Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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