Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My ass is underappreciated
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
