WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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