I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
