I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
