OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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