Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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