Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
