She's JV to your varsity
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
