I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
