Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize