the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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