kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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