oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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