When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
