Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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