I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
even my farts smell like vagina
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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