So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize