I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
