is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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