Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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