i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
