so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
