dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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