Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We named our party play list daddy issues
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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