You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
this will be a night to untag.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
