he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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