He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
