If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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