I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
