I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
