I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
