i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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