that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
