I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
