season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize