If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
being pregnant is like rehab
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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