i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize
