Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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