Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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