I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
