i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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