u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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