how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
