guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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