why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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