So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
