I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm bleeding and have questions
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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